Untitled~
by Jigglypuff
Summary: A really really random and weird story about - nothing!
1. ~***~~Untitled~~***~

~Untitled~  
by Jigglypuff  
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[[a/n]]My first out of mind, really random and pointless story! Enjoy!  
  
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Link appears.  
  
Link:What's this?  
  
Jigglypuff(from computer on PA):Something.  
  
Link:Oh.  
  
Jigglypuff(from computer on PA):Don't say anything unless you WANT to be turned into a replica of you with Tingle's mind. Test begin.  
  
Ruto appears.  
  
Ruto:Ooh! Purple monkey dishwasher fickle laundromat - enough with all the randomness now.  
  
Link's silent.  
  
Ruto:Hi Link! Did somebody say McDonald's?  
  
Link's still silent.  
  
Ruto:If you're silent then that means you love me.  
  
Link:HEY! EWW!  
  
Jigglypuff:WHAT, LINK?? TAKE THIS!  
  
Link suddenly goes weird.  
  
Link:TINGLE, TINGLE, KOOLOO LIMPAH! BOOOOOOYAKA!  
  
Jigglypuff:FWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Ruto:Shut up, Jigglypuff!  
  
Ruto also gets weird all of a sudden..  
  
Ruto:Hear no evil......see no evil.....talk no evil...  
  
Saria comes in out of nowhere.  
  
Saria:Hi.  
  
Ruto:Hear no evil.......see no evil........talk no evil....  
  
Link:*singing* Tingle Bells, Tingle Bells, Tingle all the way! Oh what fun it is to annoy fairies every day!  
  
Saria:What? Jigglypuff, get me out of here, please.  
  
Jigglypuff: No.  
  
Emi comes in the room.  
  
Emi:Whoops. Wrong room.  
  
Emi exits the room.  
  
Saria:OK.....what the heck was that for?  
  
Jigglypuff:The story's getting too boring. Let's include a Final Fantasy fight in here!  
  
A monster suddenly shows up. It's green...fat....weird...It's the real Tingle.  
  
Tingle:KOOLOO LIMPAH!  
  
Saria:Great! FWAHAHAHA! Kill Tingle!  
  
Link:Are you a forest fairy?  
  
Saria:NO.  
  
Tingle:Hey! That my line!  
  
Link:No! Mine! Minemineminemine!!'  
  
Tingle:DIE!!!  
  
Tingle puts Link on a dozen balloons and he slowly floats away.  
  
Tingle:FWAHAHAHAHAHA!!  
  
Ruto:HEAR NO EVIL! STOP! Hear no evil....speak no evil......see no evil....HEY! YOU'RE EVIL! DIE!!!  
  
Tingle dies all of a sudden.  
  
Ruto:Good. Hear no evil...  
  
Saria:Um, okay..  
  
Squall and Quistis come in the room.  
  
Squall:OOH! WHAT A HOT CHICK! *looks at Ruto* And she's NAKED TOO!!  
  
Quistis drags and slaps Squall off the fanfic pages.  
  
Saria:Good. I hate Final Fantasy 8. 9 RULES!!!  
  
Jigglypuff:NO.  
  
Saria is dragged into the same condition as Ruto, and Malon enters. She sits and stares at the blank wall.  
  
Malon:Coooooolllll....  
  
Suddenly, Link returns with ham.  
  
Link:Hey! I got ham and NOBODY CARES! WHEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!  
  
And Zelda comes. She tries to kill Jigglypuff. But she couldn't - she dies instantly.  
  
Jigglypuff:THAT'S WHAT YOU GET, SLUT! FWAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Zelda floats mysteriously to a toilet nearby that semms to be there for no apparent reason. Zelda gets flushed down the toilet, but is stuck. Jigglypuff cleans it up with his Author Powers.  
  
Jigglypuff:HAHAHAHA!  
  
Zelda comes back for no reason and starts to beat Malon up rapidly with the wall.  
  
Malon:OUCH! But you're so pretty! OOCH! Don't hurt me, cute shortie! EEE!  
  
Zelda kills everyone except for Saria, whom Jigglypuff protected, and for Jigglypuff himself.  
  
Zelda:I AM! BATMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Saria:No you aren't!  
  
A Final Fantasy-sort of battle begins.Saria uses [???]!  
  
Zelda dies.  
  
Jigglypuff cleaned up the mess and flushed it down the toilet that semmed to come out of nowhere for no apparent reason. He also tried to flush Link's ham in there, too, but for no apparent reason it got stuck.  
  
Also, Saria learned magic all of a sudden, then threw it all down the drain....of the toilet that's sitting there for no apparent reason.  
  
And so, we came to  
  
THE END 


	2. Untitled:The Second Soapy Chapter!

Untitled: The Second Soapy Chapter  
by Jigglypuff  
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Jigglypuff appears all of a sudden and proceeds to read the author's note out of nowhere.  
  
Jigglypuff:Zelda is copyright 2001 Nintendo. Happy Holidays from all of us here at Jigglypuff's Fanfics/Site. Thank you. Have a merry Christmas, everybody.  
  
Jigglypuff teleports to his master room, where he watches over the people that are going to come in and make something random out of it. Saria appears next to him.  
  
Saria:More juice?  
  
Jigglypuff:Thank you. (takes a glass filled with nothing, pushes a button, and it magically fills with root beer)  
  
Saria:I think I'll have the same. (does an identical process)  
  
Link and Malon enter the room.  
  
Link: So, you wanna snuggle up and watch something?  
  
Malon:Sure. Something from the past ten years...  
  
Link:I know!  
  
*Link "flips" the 'invisible' TV over to the OJ Simpson trial.*  
  
Jigglypuff: No offense.  
  
Link:Cool. The guy's just standing there.  
  
Malon:Defin'tly.  
  
Ganon and Impa enter the room and go to the couch also.  
  
Ganon:Ooh! OJ Simpson!  
  
Impa: I love him! Not as much as I love you though...Let's get some privacy, then pop some popcorn, then come back here. It's a 21 day trial, I think. CNN has it covered, and Linky has it taped!  
  
*Ganon and Impa leave the room*  
  
Link:Huh?  
  
Malon:What?  
  
Mido enters the room with a dishwasher.  
  
Mido:Come here boy! That's it!  
  
Strangely, the dishwasher obeys like a dog.  
  
Mido:Now....WASH!  
  
The dishwasher washes.  
  
Mido:DRY!  
  
The dishwasher dries.  
  
Mido:OPEN...*smirk*...SESAME!  
  
The dishwasher opens to reveal....clothes?  
  
Mido:That's it boy! Eew, the clothes are all retaded all of a sudden...I'M CALLING MY LAWYER!  
  
*Mido leaves while getting out a cell phone which strangely dials by itself.  
  
Link:What?  
  
Malon:Huh?  
  
Link:Hey Malon...?  
  
Malon:Yeah?  
  
Link: I hate to break it to you...  
  
*Link takes off a MASK?!?!?!*  
  
Malon:EWW! GROSS!  
  
In the mask's place is a boy with blond hair and loads of acne.  
  
Malon:Why didn't you tell me, Link?  
  
Link:*freakyish voice* I AM NOT LINK. I AM A BOY FROM THE PAST WHO HAS COME TO LOVE YOU. LET ME GO HAVE-  
  
Malon:EWW!  
  
*Malon gets away from the imitation Link*  
  
Link:COME ON...COME TO MY SHINDIG AND LET'S PARTY!!!  
  
Malon:NO....NO!!! THIS HAS TO BE A DREAM!!!  
  
*Malon wakes up all of a sudden. She finds herself sitting next to Link - and appeared to have slept during the really 'fascinating' trial.*  
  
Malon:Phew....................  
  
Link turns around....AND IT'S THE SAME FACE!  
  
Link:FWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Malon:AAGH! SO IT IS REAL! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Link:COME OVER HERE......  
  
Link stretches his arms toward Malon and grabs her.  
  
Malon:NOO!!  
  
Link:WAKE UP MALON...IT'S ME!!!!!! FWAHAHAHA!  
  
*Malon wakes up from another dream. Could this be reality? Link is grabbing her...with the right face.*  
  
Link:Yes! Malon - you've woken up! Ganon and Impa are here, and they've got popcorn!  
  
Ganon and Impa wave and reaches for a handful of pens. They eat them.  
  
Ganon:MMM...Ink-like taste...but still buttery.....  
  
Impa:Yes my dear....yes...  
  
Ganon and Impa kiss.  
  
Link:Isn't this romantic? Now we need some privacy...  
  
Link snaps his fingers, and Ganon and Impa vanishes. The pens are gone, and so is the room. All there is...is darkness.  
  
Link:Now....piece de resistance....  
  
Malon:Don't tell me...  
  
Link pulls off a mask and then reveals.....ARNOLD SHWARTZENEGGER!  
  
Jigglypuff:Sorry if I spelled that wrong as well.  
  
Arnold:Come to be, baby!  
  
Malon:NO!  
  
Arnold takes out a Glock-47 gun and shoots it at Malon-  
  
Arnold:Hasta la vista, bebe. Bye!  
  
*Malon wakes up in reality.*  
  
Malon:OK Link....I ate too much Sweet 'N Low last night....  
  
Link(pulls off mask to reveal old man): WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!  
  
And so it goes...on and on....Malon trapped in dreams of a third kind...while Link tries to awaken Malon.  
  
End report and visualization.  
  
The End 


End file.
